What is life apart from Jesus?

I have tasted life apart from Jesus. I lived that life for 17 years. The life of sin, selfishness, and death was painful, pleasurable, and confusing. I came into the light...TA DA...and everything got flip turned up-side down. Then I'm learning to live a new life...new rules, getting healing, experiencing power, love, acceptance, and beauty like I never knew.

I have been chosen, I have been called, I realize I am part of something extraordinary.

Then why, or better yet, HOW, have I allowed for compromise? I read past journals or think of experiences of when I was "on fire" for God. I made passionate commitments that were full of zeal for Jesus. Yet, what happened? How have I gone back on my word?

I need to begin to talk less and act more. I need to take what I say and what God reveals to me as sacred secrets of His Heart. It is a time of maturity. Weather I am in a time of consolation or desolation it does not matter. Pursuing God, living a live of complete devotion is the only way to live at all. If I choose another way, I make out God to be a liar.

I will spend my life, my efforts on you my Lord. Thank you for your grace to your servant. You reveal your heart and your love over and over again though I trample upon it time after time. Forgive me my iniquity and cleanse me of my sin, make me white as snow. I desire to live a life of devotion to you...not a life full of "devotions" but a life in which every single area of my life is for you. Weather I eat or drink or whatever I do, I wish to do it for your glory. Please help me in this effort Papa. I'm all yours, once again.

Jesus is where IT'S at :)

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life....anyone who wishes to go to the Father goes through him (John 14:6). Jesus is the door, He is the gateway, He is the narrow path, He is where the greatest joy can be found, and the deepest sorrow. Grasping the greatness, the humility, the manhood, the godliness of this person Jesus is unfathomable yet...he desires relationship with us. How crazy! All this to hopefully encourage....KNOW the Jesus is the way, put your trust in Him, He will never fail you. Man will always fail you...he is full of sin, selfishness, greed (I will always fail you). But Jesus, will never fail. Trusting in this person has changed my life forever and growing in relationship with him is wonderful..(and at times painful ;).

We praise you Lord, both now and forevermore. We thank you Jesus for your greatness as our God and thank you for your humility as fully a man. Increase in us. May you wash us again of our sin and pour over us with grace. We thank you for your constant attention and love in our lives. All the time, weather happy or sad, weather at peace or in strife, we praise you!

The Kingdom Life

What does the manifestion of the Kingdom of God look like for us here on earth? Catholics pray every Sunday and Jesus teaches all to pray for His Kingdom to Come.

The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed that a farmer goes and plants. It is the smallest of seeds but it yields the biggest plant in the entire garden. The Kingdom of God is like yeast which a woman puts into a large amount of flour until it is worked through the entire dough. The Kingdom of God is like a hidden treasure in a field that when a man found it he sold everything he owned and bought the entire field. The Kingdom of God is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. Once he finds one of great value he sells everything to buy that one. The Kingdom of God is like a net that catches a huge amount of fish. The good fish will be kept and the bad fish will be discarded. (Matthew 13)

The rules of the Kingdom are much different than the rules of society. Misty Edwards describes the Kingdom of God saying, "It's the inside, outside, upside down Kingdom where you lose to gain, and you die to live." One day the Kingdom of the world will become the Kingdom of the Lord, our God. But how can we begin to live in the Kingdom of God here, now, today?

By enjoying the pure pleasures found in God that are readily available for us here on earth. A swim in the pool, a trip to a lake, enjoying a meal with a brother or sister, gardening, being creative in the arts, building something...it is a return to child like pleasures. Who must one be like to enter the Kingdom of God? A child. Innocent, pure, lovely, playful, free...children do not carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, they do not stress, they don't muse on the past or fuss about the future, they live for the present moment.

It is my prayer that we could come close to Jesus today by being the beautiful people he created us to be. Casting all our anxiety upon him, letting go, and enter into a Kingdom lifestyle. And this is just the beginning....oh the Faith in the Kingdom, oh the restoration, oh the health, oh the worship and adoration of the Lord our God, oh the power of the Holy Spirit, oh the battle to keep and advance the Kingdom, oh oh oh.

O Jesus our King...would you reign today? Would you take your place on the throne in our hearts? Would you show us your love, compassion, and mercy today? Would you arm us with the spiritual battle gear needed? O Jesus, you are the mighty, the awesome, the beautiful King. We adore you today.

I will walk by Faith, even when I cannot see.

From Chico, to San Jose, to West Hills, and then Azusa I was able to reconnect with family and friends after my little journey. I was continually praying, asking the Lord to prompt me where to go, who I needed to connect with, and what I needed to do. I prayed a lot in Azusa, asking the Lord what my next step would be, where he wanted me to live and other logistics. In my spirit, I sensed that the next season in my life would not be in Azusa but actually back up in Seattle. As I was driving from Azusa, after spending the afternoon/evening with my church family the Lord brought a song into my heart that consoled my spirit in the deepest parts. It goes like this:

"Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words you say
Every moment of every day

I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see
For I know this broken road prepares Your will for me

Well help me to rid my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken but I still see your face
Well You've spoken pouring your words of grace

I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see
For I know this broken road prepares Your will for me"

The Next Step....of Faith

This past week has been one of challenge. With extreme revelation and walking with the Holy Spirit often comes spiritual attack. I moved out of the house I was living in due to marital issues between the couple and the Lord provided another home for me to stay in within a few hours.

My brother Tyler will be flying into Kansas City on Sunday night and from there we will drive for a few days to Seattle, WA. I'll be staying there until the March 21st when I'll be going to Chico, CA for my good friend Liz's wedding. I'm looking forward to living in Seattle and beginning to put into practice all the new things I've learned. I think that this time will be a perfect place to make serious life style changes. Please keep me in your prayers.

Thank you to everyone who is praying for me. Your prayers are being answered in many ways. This week has been one of break through in my life. Only by God's grace has He unlocked some serious revelation that will forever change my life and walk with Him.

My previous life style was lived according to Christ and the world. I have the power to live my life anyway I choose (that is the blessing and curse of our free will). I want to live my life fully for Christ...no matter how foolish that may look to people of the world.

It is my hope that you see dramatic changes in my life style as we encounter each other. Please hold me accountable if you see no change in me...ask me, "Ali, you seem the same...didn't you say in your blog that some things were going to change in your life? Why aren't I seeing any changes?" :) (I'm smiling as I say this because I know it sounds silly but I'm okay with that.)

A couple points of revelation I'll share:

*The key to worshipping freely: (this will sound silly also) FOCUS ON JESUS. and then do whatever comes to you through that. When I focus on Jesus, him alone, everything else disappears and I'm captivated. My outward expression could be kneeling, hands folded, jumping, hands out streched, dancing, etc etc etc....but the outward expression is not what is important in worship (though it is freeing to be free do whatever the Lord prompts). The important thing in worship is focusing on the one true God...the three in one, the one in three, our magnificant King. O how I love Him!

*Singing truths of the Bible to God and then Singing them over You: Ok, this one I didn't believe until I praticed it and was amazed at what happened. Sing to God a truth, "God you are wonderful, you love truth, I delight in you." Then...using your name...sing as if you are God, "Ali, I delight in you, you are wonderful to me, you love truth also. Keep seeking me...you will find me. I love it when you search after me." Then singing back to God, "la la la>" And just keep it going. THIS is transforming my self talk and is making the voice of God and the enemy so clear in my life.

Unfortunately, I only have 4 more minutes of online time left at Starbucks so that's all I can share today. Thanks for reading. Blessings, please post prayer requests and continue to seek after the pearl of great price.

Little Portion in Photos